Tuesday, 23 January 2018

JONES

Great work on the second draft Jamie.

Positives:

  • The reverse smoke in the candle is effective and a clever way to show the 'air' and 'fire' element. 
  • Lipsync in the colour looks really well edited. 
  • Sky images that you have incorporated are good.
  • Slow-mo waves during the video - I really like these images. 
  • I like the fire image you have incorporated - particularly at 2.50
  • I really like the diegetic wave sounds you have ended the video with. I think it works well in the cyclical structure. 

Areas to consider improvement: 
  • 1st lip sync in black and white is off - you need to re-edit 
  • Transition to colour - I really like the idea but is there any way to keep the smoke to aid continuity when the candle is in colour. At the moment it looks a little strange - maybe you need to flicker the colour in and out for a bit to aid continuity? Have a think about how else you could tweak this. 
  • The fire over the singer is nice but is there any way we can bring it down a little bit so that it looks like it covers the bottom of the screen rather than over the top of the face. (However, this may just be a personal preference). 
Well done Jamie - keep up the good work and keep improving and tweaking to make the most of this coursework :) 

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