JONES

Great work on the second draft Jamie.

Positives:

• The reverse smoke in the candle is effective and a clever way to show the 'air' and 'fire' element. 
• Lipsync in the colour looks really well edited. 
• Sky images that you have incorporated are good.
• Slow-mo waves during the video - I really like these images. 
• I like the fire image you have incorporated - particularly at 2.50
• I really like the diegetic wave sounds you have ended the video with. I think it works well in the cyclical structure. 

Areas to consider improvement: 

• 1st lip sync in black and white is off - you need to re-edit 
• Transition to colour - I really like the idea but is there any way to keep the smoke to aid continuity when the candle is in colour. At the moment it looks a little strange - maybe you need to flicker the colour in and out for a bit to aid continuity? Have a think about how else you could tweak this. 
• The fire over the singer is nice but is there any way we can bring it down a little bit so that it looks like it covers the bottom of the screen rather than over the top of the face. (However, this may just be a personal preference). 

Well done Jamie - keep up the good work and keep improving and tweaking to make the most of this coursework :) 

Video Second draft

this link will take you to the second draft of the music video

https://youtu.be/HhcMAAiDaS0

JONES

First Draft Feedback:

Positives:

• I really like the opening shot of waves on the beach - I think it is an effective way to start the song and creates the mellow and chilled atmosphere to match the music at this point in the song. 
• The black and white effect works really well at the start of the clip particularly with the nature shots. 
• The vintage overlay in the first half is really effective. 
• I think you have paid attention to the music in the song and how it builds and this is reflective in your ideas and shots throughout the music video. 
• The way you have ended in the same place you have started is effective. I think the cyclical nature of it works well. 

Areas to improve:

• Spend some time sorting out your lipsync. 
• Add in something that ties into your change into colour - I know you spoke about a match being lit before. 
• The ending - you need to edit the ending so that your film ends in time with the song. 

 Things to consider: 

• Consider adding in the sound of waves to end after the song has finished? In this way you link into the natural aspect you have created through your repeated images. 
• I'm not convinced that your message about the singer being representative of everyone and anyone is coming across at the moment. It would be worth thinking about alternatives and whether you could re-film some of the sections in a clearer way.
• Consider the continuity between your concept shots which are very natural and beautiful shots and the sections you want to lip sync. Do you want this to be a contrast? Or do you want to think about ways of linking the man into your natural concept shots? 

Well done Jamie! Keep up the good work and focus now on perfecting some of the great shots you have and making a few changes to ensure your message is clear.